Update 2010

I guess I should bring this up to date. I usually try to stay upbeat in this blog. Last fall after the discovery of metastasis to the lymph nodes and removal of said lymph node, I underwent chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Interferon Alpha 2b was infused daily for 20 days and then I was to receive injections every other day for 11 months. Interferon is awful. In December, I was unable to eat and drink and became dehydrated enough to require a week in the hospital. Interferon was stopped. Life was much more pleasant. In May, metastasis to the lungs and possibly liver have occurred. Now I am getting dacarbazine infusions to prepare for the Ipilimumab vaccine. The dacarbazine has been a breeze. With great antinausea meds, there has been no problem with my appetite and I have felt energetic enough to tend the garden and play outside almost every day.
My garden is looking great this year and I have a new swing made by Cathy and Larry to enjoy the view. Earlier in the spring, I tried to take up making rustic/bentwood furniture, but have been stymied by the heat. Still working on a bench though. Bought Nelt’s Kubota lawnmower and discovered the joy of racing the lawnmower through the job. It is so agile and fun! I actually like mowing, but it is even more fun now. Got new members of the family in the early spring: Macy & Gidget, two Schnauzer mix dogs, Mom and daughter. Nelt built me a fence to keep them in and they have been great ever since. They are happy, good watch dogs and love each other immensely.
I am still showing up for work at JK Products and Services. Thanks to Sam, I have a job there. He has been a saint and my being sick surely has been a disappointment for him, but he has never indicated it. I do love the job and certainly would prefer to be there . I have learned so much from him. I wish I could have spent more of my earlier career years around his type of HR management. Thanks to him lots of people have had a more pleasant work experience. He is so committed and determined .
Lyndsey is progressing through school steadily. She seems to realize the importance of “getting” more than just the booklearning and I think she will be very effective with the public. Never would have given her that credit before. She seems very sensitive to physical ailments and the relationships to environment. She is still dedicated to Romeo and seems happy with her life.
Kelsey is living with Chris and making progress in school. She has matured beyond my scope. She is certainly much more than I ever dreamed. She has sensitivities for people that I have never developed personally and often seems wiser than me about life in general.
Both girls are beautiful and healthy. I love them immensely.
Mom and my brothers are doing well. All of us are aging and we need to be more vigilant about our health, but have good lives and are happy. Dad’s sister has had a stroke and seems to be recovering so much better than expected. Chuck and his famiy are doing well. Jerrie and Richard and their family are all doing well.
I have great friends, Vicky aka “the other half of my brain” and Steve have a new cabin on Spring River and are enjoying the family time that affords. Larry and Cathy are working hard this summer, but have recovered the deck on their river lots and will spend time on Eleven Point this summer. I see friends now and then when we meet to eat together.
Life is sweet.

Dad is gone

After a decade long fight, Dad has moved on. He passed away last evening at 6:00p. He was peaceful in passing due to the meds he had been given and once again taught me the value of making good decisions. He had fought long and hard and when it was time, left mom in charge to make sure that his passing was as painless as possible.

He was moved just in time from Little Rock at UAMS to the Phil and Flo Jones Hospice House in Jonesboro. Frank David rode with Mom from Little Rock to Jonesboro early Thursday morning. At 1:00p I went to lunch and went to sit with Mom and visit Dad. Dad had already had Ativan for the trip and was spitting up sputum. No Kleenex in the room. They were out. I made a dash to the Super V Drug store and bought Kleenex and came back. Dr. Owens was in his room gathering information and getting his orders together. The nurses came in and administered pain meds: Morphine 2 mg, Atropine drops to reduce the secretions and two 25mg Fentanyl patches. While Mom was trying to answer Dr. Owens questions and fill out admission papers, I kept up with the secretions. The nurses came back with more morphine and Dad finally began resting easier. I went to get lunch for the two of us. Jerrie was there when I came back. We ate lunch about 3:00p and sat back to visit. Dad's gums and tongue looked more gray to me and by 6:00p he was breathing fewer breaths until he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for quite some time. Mom said that had not been happening and within a few breaths he was gone. The nurse was called and pronounced him. Family members were notified. Emerson was called and a few necessary arrangements were made. The rest will be done this morning.

Frequently, the most appropo statements show up while I am just surfing around. Thank goodness, I stopped and looked this morning. This one, "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ~Maureen Dowd" strikes me as something I need to keep in mind. The desire to be a part of the group, causes me to fail in holding myself above the expectations of others. Just needed a reminder to look after myself!

Time to Write Once again!

Seems things get out of hand around here and I forget about taking the time to record my thoughts.

Last post I was thankful to be off and still enjoying my summer. Now I have thankfully changed jobs from StarTek to move to J K Products & Services. So far, I have loved every minute. I will be the Payroll Clerk in HR and will be back to doing the job I know.

Lyndsey has made it one semester in Bastyr and survived the snow and floods in Seattle. She has survived all the things mothers fear.

Kelsey left Hendrix with a leave of absence and has spent a semester out of school. She has had a significant bout of depression and anxiety. Meds have been changed and she has started BRTC to help get her back on track. She seems to be getting in the swing!

Jessie has passed away after a long loud life. Sassy missed her lots, but has now assumed the role of Queen of the Bedroom.

Happy Stitches is no longer due to the job in Jonesboro. The jobs and drive don't allow enough time for any after hours responsibilities. Or much else after hours!

Fortunately good friends were made at StarTek and several of us get together about once a month for drinks and a good visit.

Several holidays have passed, but we have been lucky enough to enjoy the company of most of our relatives and friends just as usual. Mom and Dad were unable to participate and Lyndsey was in Seattle. FD and Lisa were sick for Christmas, and we missed some of Jerrie and Richard's family, but most were in good health and just obligated elsewhere.

Had a scare just before Christmas - developed a freckle - Aaaaagh - was it melanoma again? NO - maybe I will learn to accept freckles again without panic soon. Now my biggest problem is just how big I am! I can handle it! Everything is good.

Long lost hostess

So much has happened since my last post. I have spent some luxurious time off and have enjoyed the opportunity to recover and spend time with my girls. I have spent much time trying to find a new job and have finally begun training with StarTec - the outsourcing customer service for AT&T. The hours are horrendous. For 5 weeks we train from 3:30p to 12:00a, and drive the 80 mile round trip for the privilege. Fortunately, I am getting to carpool with a nice person and it has taken a lot of the pressure off.

Lyndsey has finished up her time in Jonesboro and has moved to Seattle for acupuncture training. Living with her friend Kara Richey and in her grandparent's old house and working for her Aunt Jerrie Walden has been quite an experience and she is ready to move on. I think she has essentially cut her ties with her father. She and Kelsey road tripped with grandpony Romeo all the way to Seattle in the Big Red truck. I am sure wishing her the best. She is getting to stay with friends from the get-go and is in a great area to be starting another life.

Kelsey is getting ready to attend Hendrix with her friends Ross and Yvon. I am having empty nest already. She will move in on August 19 and be starting her classes and new life. We are trying to spend the next little bit being normal and yet spending time with each other and with all the important people in her life. Chris and I may be the most traumatized.

I have started a new store since November - Happy Stitches - not making a profit yet, but still plugging along. It is challenging with the job situation, but not impossible. I am looking forward to the fall and finding some new and interesting crafting/sewing/quilting projects to do. The Block of the Week class went well and I would like to try something like that again. I had hoped we could get some bits of fabric incorporated, but so far that isn't happening.

The gardening is going slow due to the weather and the yard is getting ahead of me. Little brother's fruit trees have kept me busy with making jam/jelly. Plum and peach for giving away and storing for fall/winter. Smells good in my house!

We lost Rufus, Squirrel Tail and Artemius and probably another one I can't think of since last posts, Artie had a seizure and the rest were lost to Bobcat fever. Jessie is losing ground, but at 19+ years, she can't be expected to keep fighting forever. She still loves her tuna though. She will do her best to get to that tuna.

Till next post -

Turkey Day?

Sometimes something happens that makes you want to tell about it right away, just so you can verify that you aren't completely delusional.

Years ago, I was at home in a well populated town and walked past my window in time to see a buck loping across my neighbors back yard, over the fences and through the neighborhood, till he came to the interstate highway and seemed to clear the east and west lanes in only 2-3 bounds. The image of that has stayed with me. What was he thinking loping along in town with all those fences and streets and people? However, it seemed that I was the only one who saw him that day. When I tell about it, it just isn't the same image for other people.

Well, fast forward 10-15 years. I have moved to a rural area. But we are in a neighborhood where we can converse with one another without crossing property lines. And there is a well travelled road only a quarter of a mile away. Dogs run loose, squirrels spend their days tempting the dogs, kids play in the road and drivers dodge potholes and killdeer. http://www.birdwatching.com/stories/killdeer.html
Today I was puttering in the garage enjoying my time not working and the great fall weather we have today. Looked up and out the windows and !surprise! there are four big turkeys moseying along crossing the street and heading between houses.

Lying at the end of my driveway is the neighbors Cocker Spaniel snoozing in the sun. Several of my cats are sacked out in the leaves in the sun soaking up the good weather. I ran in and grabbed my cell phone. Rats! now they are too far away. Ran back to get the kids digital camera - poof! they are gone. Nothing else but a few leaves have moved. Now how did those big, clumsy birds get away so fast?

Happy Day!

Halloween was my last day of working for The Bank! That worked out so well. So many things accomplished this year, my surgery, ending a decade long job, Mom wins over breast cancer, and daughter moving back to her Dad's house.

For the Vulvar melanoma, I had surgery and did not have chemotherapy or radiation therapy. Thanks to the good doctors at UAMS! I was off for surgery and recuperation, now I am really off! I had sort of hoped for a couple more paychecks, but I guess I will make that up somewhere.

My daughters gave me accupuncture for my birthday gift. I can say I know something about it now. I would definitely do it again. And I got to spend some of my time on my Birthday with my eldest daughter. I still want to spend a little bit more time with my youngest daughter. She has had a writing project due, and has been a bit occupied, but eventually we will get a chance!

Now that I am in my first full week of unemployment, I am racing through my days to get all my items on my To Do list all finished. I seem to be adding more on than I am taking off! I am actually getting some things done though.

Today, I learned to operate the bucket on the Dig It machine. No wonder the guys want to work that! I had a good time too! I just can't wait for tomorrow!

A Good Week

Soon I will be unemployed, but till then I am working regularly. This week I had been asked to work in Jonesboro to fill in for another employee having surgery. I was not looking forward to driving back and forth with record high prices in gas, but it has been lovely having lunch with my mom and my daughter several times this week. I don't think I would like working in the capacity I have been working in this week, too much like a funeral home, BUT it has had some nice benefits. I have spoken to some people I rarely get to converse with and have been home by the same time I usually get home, when I work right in Pocahontas.

Strawberry Sunday

This weekend is supposed to be a crisis. The bank is going through conversion. Yesterday, there were the minor crises that usually occur when a good weekend occurs. Lovely weather, so the belt on the lawnmower breaks and a blade dissappears. But, on the way to town to get a new belt, after little brother fixed the found blade, a pickup truck with a bed of strawberries was sighted on the Sav-A-Lot parking lot. Our strawberry season was supposed to be extremely affected by a serious cold spell we had a week ago. Trees, fruits, veggies and crops were damaged and the governor had declared a disaster. But, I bought three flats of luscious strawberries. Sold one to little brother and his wife and one to my friend, Kitty. The rest I have saved for myself and spent this Sunday morning putting them up for the freezer. I smell like a big juicy strawberry now!

Tragedy

Every time I see an animal on the road that has been hit by a car, it pains me. I twinge and cringe and try to forget the sight. This morning I witnessed a scene that has really affected my day.

On the way to take my daughter to school, we came upon a gruesome scene. On both sides of the highway, cars were pulled over. In the middle of the lane on the other side an SUV was stopped. In the lane in front of the vehicle was a woman kneeling over a very large dog that had been hit. It was obvious that she was sobbing and upset. Several men in pickup trucks were stopped on the side of the road and were helping to flag traffic. The heartbreak in that scene will stay with me and my daughter for some time.

Counting Blessings

So much time has past since I posted last. I am sure there have been some savored moments since July, but I guess I will try and catch up now. I have decided to participate in a lovely thought put forth by Shelly from The Little Scrapbook blog, Counting Blessings in the month of November. I really enjoy her blog and appreciate the inspiration she provides.

My Blessings
1. I am blessed to have a savior who loves me and watches over me.
2. I am blessed to have family and friends who care about me.
3. I am blessed to have been given another birthday!
4. I am blessed to enjoy the work that I do.
5. I am blessed to be able to enjoy my pets as much as I do and to be loved by them.
6. I am blessed to live in the location I do where the beauty of the landscape changes regularly.
7. I am blessed to be aware of how good my life really is!